Here are the lessons I’d pass on:
1. Take the risk. Seriously. As a woman I was raised to stay safe, to be grateful, to wait for permission. Don’t. Say yes to uncertainty. Every risk opened doors I didn’t even know existed.
Stepping away from a Dutch Maximo consultancy - after 9 years of delivering for clients, where I had built a name people trusted - to dive into software engineering was scary. But I never regretted it - not for a second! And I definitely never regretted coming back 😄 I returned stronger, sharper, and with a whole new perspective.
2. Stop searching for stability. It’s a myth. Everything changes: you, your goals, the world around you. Focus on building resilience instead.
3. Listen to your gut. Sometimes you won’t have a clear explanation - but you’ll still have an answer. Every time I trusted that quiet inner voice, it guided me in the right direction.
4. Keep learning. The tech changes - just look at Maximo! Your ability to adapt is your real power.
5. Feedback is very important, but don’t let one manager’s opinion define your worth.
Seek input from multiple voices - peers, juniors, clients. I first have done it by Philips, where feedback was handled in one of the best ways I’ve seen: you need to collect feedback at least from three people every 6 months. That really impressed me. People often project their own issues onto you - but when multiple people say something similar, there’s likely truth in it. That kind of reflection helped me grow a lot.
6. No one is paying you for loyalty. Know your market value. Keep your LinkedIn and CV fresh. Be loyal to your growth, not just your employer.
7. Know your strengths. Your strengths are your engine, but your weak spots? Don’t hide from them. Work on them - or build a team around them.
8. Your children give you a new sense of purpose and drive. And here’s the magic: in raising them, they’ll raise you too. You’ll become someone you’ve never met before - stronger, softer, sharper.
9. Confidence is earned. Not gifted. It comes from doing the thing - badly, then better. From failing and daring again.
10. And remember this, always:
You will meet amazing people. Hidden gems in every team. People who care deeply. Who turn chaos into clarity. Who make the impossible happen. People who manage - without micromanaging. People who believe in you - before you believe in yourself.
Cherish them. Learn from them. And when you get the chance - be that person for someone else.
